Questions of conscience
One thing is to talk about disparities between the rich and the poor, but another thing is to see them both living in such close proximity. Imagine eating at an expensive restaurant while you watch a video about starving children. Would you be able to enjoy your meal? What kind of things would come to your mind? Think about it.
One day we were celebrating a friend’s birthday at a nice restaurant in a wealthy neighborhood in Port Au Prince. We were very happy to share that special time with friends and we enjoyed ourselves. The menu has its prices in US Dollars and if you want to pay with the local currency, they’ll charge a higher exchange rate… How interesting, do they think we are rich?! Well, maybe we are rich here: we have access to private transportation, we eat more than one meal per day, we drink water that does not make us sick, and we are blan (white, foreigner), which puts us in that category by default anyways. But as we stepped out of the restaurant, right in front of us, there was a sight that brought uneasy feelings: the park was filled with tents and people living in them. Then the questions came:
“Is it right for us to spend money at a place like that when there are so many people living in such circumstances? But, we ourselves can’t take care of all who are in need. Maybe it is okay to enjoy ourselves like that sometimes. What kind of people are we that we feel okay spending in the same way, as long as there is no sight like that in front of us? How interesting is human nature, that we prefer to separate ourselves from that kind of sight, so we can feel okay about living our lives comfortably.” These were all thoughts that came to mind and things we had to “debrief” with each other. Questions of conscience. And they keep coming.
They keep coming as we finish having lunch during field trips and old ladies come begging for money touching their bellies and saying “I am hungry, give me some money,” as we drive through the busy streets of Pòtoprens and little kids offer to wipe the car if we give them some money, as we drive with teams of Americans and people yell in English “Give me one Dollah!” when they see us pass by. We struggle saying NO to people because it is easier to give them a coin and feel good about ourselves. But we say NO. We decided we won’t give money to people asking or begging for it because if we do, it’s almost like making a contract with them that says “I will give you money, if you get out of my way.” We feel we don’t treat people with dignity when we hand out money or things without knowing their names, their family or whether our “help” is really what they need to have a life with dignity: to come out of poverty, to take care of their families, to leave a legacy to their grandchildren, and to see others and themselves in a healthy way in order to interact with each other honorably and respectfully.
And you know what? We wrote this yesterday, but today instead of saying NO, we said apre (later) to the kid outside the bakery. We brought a snack out in case he was still there, and he was. And as we were leaving we saw him share the little snack with a younger child. As you see, each day is a new day, and we can’t base our actions on strict dogma. We will keep asking God to guide our interactions to act wisely, and to help us wrestle with the big questions about life, development, poverty and true riches.
